The Thing That Has No Purpose
by MaddieIsWhatIAm
Summary: A Clanfic!  of something that really has no actual purpose.


A/N: YAY! We've reached 350. Kudos to all the authors in the little fandom that could. I decided to write this clanfic to celebrate.

Disclaimer: No Canadians were harmed in the making of this FanFic. However, some of the characters of Misters Tom Kitt and Brian Yorkey are severely harassed and tortured. As are many others. Carry on.

**We've got a doozy of a cast list here, folks! 33 actors and actresses!**

**STARRING:**

**iNvIsIbLe GiRl 12: President**

**Oreoprincess0401: VP**

**ElianaMargalit: VP**

**YourEyes1012: Secretary**

**Greengirl16: Treasurer**

**futurestar26: Advertisement**

**Agent Ilse Stiefel-Bashoff: Secret Agent**

**BluestBlood: Resident Ninja**

**futurebwaystar: Admissions**

**werewolf-in-training: Transportation**

**criminally-insane-girl: Head of Secret Service**

**crazyunrabidfangirl: Secret Service**

**theohsostupidlamb: Secret Service**

**Natalie Goodman (N2N): herself**

**Gabriel Goodman (N2N): himself**

**Diana Goodman (N2N): herself**

**Dan Goodman (N2N): himself**

**Henry Davis (N2N): himself**

**Mark Cohen (RENT): himself**

**Mimi Marquez (RENT): herself**

**Maureen Johnson (RENT): herself**

**The Cat in the Hat (Seussical): himself**

**Moritz Stiefel (Spring Awakening): himself**

**Elphaba Thropp (Wicked): herself**

**Toby Ragg (Sweeney Todd): himself**

**Kurt Hummel (Glee): himself**

**Justin Bieber (Singer): himself**

**Aaron Tveit: himself**

**Adam Chandler-Berat: himself**

**Ed Saunders: himself**

**John Gallagher Jr.: himself**

**Chris Colfer: himself**

**Rosario Dawson: herself**

**Pairings (There are a LOT and they were all random draw):**

**iNvIsIbLe GiRl 12 and Adam Chandler-Berat**

**Oreoprincess0401 and Ed Saunders**

**ElianaMargalit and Toby Ragg**

**YourEyes1012 and Henry Davis**

**Greengirl16 and Elphaba Thropp**

**futurestar26 and Maureen Johnson**

**Agent Ilse Stiefel-Bashoff and Moritz Stiefel**

**BluestBlood and John Gallagher Jr.**

**futurebwaystar and Chris Colfer**

**werewolf-in-training and Aaron Tveit**

**criminally-insane-girl and Justin Bieber**

**crazyunrabidfangirl and Kurt Hummel**

**theohsostupidlamb and Rosario Dawson**

**Natalie Goodman and Mark Cohen**

**Gabriel Goodman and Mimi Marquez**

**Diana Goodman and The Cat in the Hat**

**Dan Goodman and Moritz Stiefel (yes, I'm aware Moritz is here twice)**

iNvIsIbLe GiRl 12: Clan, we have some good news! We've successfully reached 350 fics!

Clan: -cheering-

iNvIsIbLe GiRl 12: Yes, you've all done very well. And, as a result, I've brought in some very special guests. Say hello to Natalie Goodman, Gabriel Goodman, Diana Goodman, Dan Goodman, Henry Davis, Mark Cohen, Mimi Marquez, The Cat in the Hat, Moritz Stiefel, Elphaba Thropp, Toby Ragg, Kurt Hummel, Justin Bieber, Aaron Tveit, Adam Chandler-Berat, Ed Saunders, Maureen Johnson, John Gallagher Jr., Chris Colfer, and Rosario Dawson.

Clan: WOAH!

iNvIsIbLe GiRl 12: You can thank me later. But we're going to try something new today. We're gonna get risky! - reading from a paper- My bosses Mr. Kitt and Mr. Yorkey want people to get along-people from other shows. So each one of you gets a brand new laptop!

Clan and Random Guests: YAY!

iNvIsIbLe GiRl 12: -still reading from paper- But you can only use them to chat. You can't write or read fanfics on them.

Clan: Dang it...

iNvIsIbLe GiRl 12: You will be chatting with an unknown partner. At the end of this fic, you'll find out who your partner is. We just want people to get along. -sets paper down on podium- Okay! So, take your laptops and come up here, girls, to get your keys to your new room in our new Clan apartment building! You've all talked to your personal room designer earlier, even though you didn't know who it was, so your rooms should be similar to what you told them you liked. Now, be gone! -everyone leaves quickly, except for Moritz- Hey, Moritz, you wanna do me a favor?

Moritz: Sure. -sigh-

iNvIsIbLe GiRl 12: Would you take two computers? We're short one person.

Moritz: Sure. -sighs again-

_Later. The conversations are starting._

**iNvIsIbLe GiRl 12 and Adam Chandler-Berat's Conversation**

A**:** Hello?

I: Hey! Hi! Howdy! Hola! Other hello words that start with H!

A: Okay, wow. You're really hyper.

I: You know, I get told that a lot. Like, a LOT a lot.

A: Alright. So...

I: So...How are you? What are your favorite colors? Do you like pie? Do you like to write? Are you a swimmer? Can you sing?

A: I"m fine, my favorite colors change from day to day, I only like certain kinds of pie, I like writing well enough, I can swim but I'm not a swimmer, and yes, I can sing.

I: You're my soulmate. You answered all that without an "Uh..." or a "You're weird..." anywhere in there! I love you.

A: And I love you?

I: YAY!

**Oreoprincess0401 and Ed Saunders's Conversation**

O: Hi there!

E: 'Ello.

O: Ooooh, you're Britishy sounding.

E: Ah, yes, I am.

O: Cool! I've always wanted a British friend. Will you be my friend?

E: Sure. You sound like a wonderful friend.

O: Yippee! I made a friend! Now I want to learn everything about you.

E: We've got a lot of time to find that out.

**ElianaMargalit and Toby Ragg's Conversation**

T: How do you do?

E: How do YOU do?

T: I'm fine. And you?

E: The same, maybe more.

T: You're pretty vauge.

E: Not normally. I'm a very interesting person. I have a BRILLIANT personality.

T: Oh, very well then. How brilliant is that personality of yours doing, then?

E: It's doing brilliantly, thank you.

**YourEyes1012 and Henry Davis's Conversation**

Y: Is this Henry?

H: Uh...no?

Y: OH MY GOOGLY EYES! IT IS YOU!

H: Crap...YourEyes1012?

Y: You do love me!

H: I'm killing Kitt and Yorkey as soon as this day is over.

Y: You CAN'T, my love!

H: Oh my God, get me out of here!

**Greengirl16 and Elphaba Thropp's Conversation**

G: Hello.

E: Saltuations, partner.

G: You sound intelligent. I enjoy conversation with your sort of people.

E: As do I. Intelligence is a rare thing these days.

G: Don't I know it. It's hard dealing with idiotic people.

E: I think I'm going to like meeting you.

**futurestar26 and Maureen Johnson's Conversation**

F: Gutentag!

M: Uh, I don't speak...whatever that is. No hable...that language.

F: It's German.

M: Well I don't speak that.

F: Obviously.

M: What's that supposed to mean?

F: It means, whoever you are, I am more intelligent than you.

M: Oh, someone won't give up on intelligence.

**Agent Ilse Stiefel-Bashoff and Moritz Stiefel's Conversation**

A: Shh! I'm secret service.

M: Uh, hi?

A: Hey there stranger! How are you?

M: Fine I guess.

A: You guess? You're not even sure about your own feelings? That's just sad.

M: I guess it is sad, but I'm really not sure how I'm feeling.

A: Aww, that's really upsetting. But I will comfort you!

M: Really? That's nice of you.

A: I'm all about support. Friendliness is a wonderful quality.

M: It seems like it.

**BluestBlood and John Gallagher Jr.'s Conversation**

B: NINJA!

J: TURKEY KABOBS!

B: What?

J: I thought we were saying random things...

B: Nope, I'm a ninja. With an official title and everything!

J: That's...legit.

B: Legitly Me. Sounds like a movie/musical.

J: I call being the lead character, who's named Xavier. You can be my ninja counterpart.

B: Named Lil Delancy. She's a rapper ninja. She raps on the side. Never quit your day job.

J: You rap?

B: Hahaha NO. Never. But maybe I can start making my demo...

J: I call gangster background singer named Yo Jangu.

**futurebwaystar and Chris Colfer's Conversation**

C: Hi!

F: Hello insanely happy person.

C: What's up?

F: Nothing at all. Because I'm down.

C: That makes no sense!

F: It doesn't have to.

C: Yeah, I think it does.

F: Nuh uh!

C: Yes, it does.

F: Do I need to call my ninja?

C:...I'd rather not ask.

**werewolf-in-training and Aaron Tveit's Conversation**

A: THE HILLS ARE ALIVE WITH THE SOUND OF MUSIC!

W: Yo.

A: You're boring.

W: Express your feelings.

A: Sing?

W: No.

A: Well not singing isn't very expressive.

W: Whatever.

A: You're still boring.

W: Not as much as you.

A: PFFT. I am more multi-layered than you.

W: Says the guy who's yodeling the sound of music on a swingset.

A: I'm not on a swingset!...I'm in a slide.

W: I still win.

**criminally-insane-girl and Justin Bieber's Conversation**

C: Bonjour! Parlez vous Francais? (Hello! Do you speak French?)

J: Oui, mais seulement un peu. (Yes, but only a little.)

C: Frais. Alors écoute, j'ai besoin d'aide. (Cool. So listen, I need help.)

J: Avec ce? (With what?)

C: En supposant que vous êtes un garçon, volonté vous le serez mon petit ami faux? (Assuming you're a boy, will you be my fake boyfriend?)

J: Pourquoi? (Why?)

C: Je veux que mes amis pour descendre mon dos parce que je n'ai jamais eu un petit ami. (I want my friends to get off my back because I've never had a boyfriend.)

J: Oh, d'accord. (Oh, okay.)

C: Merci beaucoup! (Thank you very much!)

**crazyunrabidfangirl and Kurt Hummel's Conversation**

K: Hi there!

C: Hi.

K: What's up?

C: Nm. You?

K: My wonderful fashion diva Mercedees is telling me what to type.

C: Fun.

K: Yeah, she's amazing. We are the most beautiful people at our school.

C: I believe that.

K: Fashion is my life! Need a makeover?

**theohsostupidlamb and Rosario Dawson's Conversation**

T: Yo dawg!

R: Hello strange person.

T: Did you just call me strange person?

R: That I did.

T: Awesome! That's my nickname!

R: Okay. If your nickname is strange person, you've got problems. It's not a nickname, it's supposed to be an insult of sorts.\

T: Well I've never taken it like that...

**Natalie Goodman and Mark Cohen's Conversation**

N: Please tell me I got stuck with someone normal.

M: Nope, I'm only Next to Normal.

N: Close enough for me.

M: Awesome. Listen, I'm working on a documentary. Would you mind being in it?

N: Yes. I would mind. But go ahead, because I don't really care even though I say I do.

M: You're confusing.

N: I know. Hey, got any Xanax?

**Gabriel Goodman and Mimi Marquez's Conversation**

G: You must be my wonderful partner.

M: That I am.

G: Well it's your lucky day. You're chatting with the hometown hero who was on the Wheaties box.

M: Step up from my usual crowd.

G: I know. You've got the studliest man in the world talking to you.

M: I doubt that. Listen, I've got to get back to work. No time for other stuff right now.

G: Where do you work?

M: The Catscratch Lounge.

G: I think I'm gonna like it here.

**Diana Goodman and The Cat in the Hat's Conversation**

D: HEY THERE PARTNER PERSON! YOU ROCK MY SOCKS!

C: Not if they're on the Knox in the box.

D: OOH YOU RHYME!

C: And it'll only cost you a dime a lime.

D: LOOK! MY CAT JUST LOST ITS MOLAR!

C: And frankly my dear, you're mildly bipolar.

D: WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

C: It means you're a dean who's not too keen to be lean eating beans because you're a queen.

D: YOU MAKE NO SENSE!

C: And I believe in you're brain you're wildly dense.

**Dan Goodman and Moritz Stiefel's Conversation**

M: You're the second person I have to talk to.

D: You're my first.

M: My last partner just tried to coax me out of my depressive state.

D: Oh look, a fellow depression-filled person. Yay. You see my enthusiasm.

M: About as much as mine.

D: Joy.

_Back in the meeting room as you can see it is now the end of this fic._

iNvIsIbLe GiRl 12: Everyone, the list of partners is marked by the number on your computers. Computer partners 1 and 2 are iNvIsIbLe GiRl 12 and Adam Chandler-Berat. 3 and 4 are Oreoprincess0401 and Ed Saunders. 5 and 6 are the equally amazing ElianaMargalit and Toby Ragg, 7 and 8 are the lovely couple YourEyes1012 and Henry Davis.

Henry: NOOOO! I KNEW IT BUT I DIDN'T WANT TO BELIEVE!

iNvIsIbLe GiRl 12: Alright. Anyways, 9 and 10 were Greengirl 16 and Elphaba Thropp. 11 and 12 are the incomparable futurestar26 and Maureen Johnson, while numbers 13 and 14 are Agent Ilse Stiefel-Bashoff and her secret love Moritz Stiefel. 15 and 16 belong to BluestBlood and John Gallagher Jr. 17 and 18 were the ones belonging to futurebwaystar and Chris Colfer, while 19 and 20 were chatted upon by werewolf-in-training and Aaron Tveit. The lucky numbers 21 and 22 were shared by criminally-insane-girl and Justin Bieber, while the unlucky numbers 23 and 24 were shared by crazyunrabidfangirl and the fashion diva Kurt Hummel. The computers under the numbers 25 and 26 were used by theohsostupidlamb and Rosario Dawson, and the numbers 27 and 28 were chatted by Natalie Goodman and Mark Cohen. Gabriel Goodman and Mimi Marquez used computers 29 and 30, and Diana Goodman and The Cat in the Hat used the computers registered under the numbers 31 and 32. Numbers 33 and 34 were used by Dan Goodman and Moritz Stiefel, who gladly took the place of what was supposed to be Adam Pascal. Thank you for joining us here on this really random thing that just happened!


End file.
